Wifi Gods

Receive the look the laptop got when Lemonade dropped
I don't know what look I give back.
Hope it looks like there's no one else I'd rather look at.

Have you ever got drunk from kissing lots
Have you ever been drunk in a bath and kissed a lot
Have you ever kissed a lot
Have you ever felt safe?
Have you ever missed kissing. 
Have you missed it every day?

I want to kiss you. Want you to kiss me back
I want to be near you. Want us to hold hands
I’m always away from you.
Every day I
Can’t be with the person I
want to hold on to.

It’s not right, but it’s okay,
I’m gonna leave here N-E-Way
pack my bags, leave my keys
soon you’ll see more of me.

Till then I will pray to the god of wifi:

  • That when we look at each other
    we wont look like Goldeneye 64 characters
  • That message bubbles are always blue
  • that messages always come through
  • That there’s storage on our phones

-there’s never any storage on my phone,
(I've deleted so many dick pics just so
I can send you so many more
                                                  dick pics)

You send me a picture of your face
and it breaks me in half.
I hold my phone up in the street
And tell myself it's not daft.

(Try to remember what Tyra Banks says
'Smize' Smile through the eyes
My Smize looks like a mughsot
of a celebrity
that's been caught drink driving-
Hopeful but vacant)

I smile wide, it closes my eyes.
I don't think it looks good
Don't think it looks nice

You tell me I'm beautiful
and when you say it
I think that you’re right

Transferable skills

balance feet, twist hips, position arm,

Hours in the mirror.
When you throw a left hook just right,
The ground births the force.

after lining up the stance
I’d make eye contact with myself
and give a lil nod.

Access my second source of strength.

Being possessive is a character flaw.
rolling knuckles kiss jaw.

Where’s the trigger warning
for men’s hands on your skin.

He didn’t see the landmine,
He did jump the fence

He can lay with the skins I’ve shed
I’m a case you make to your friends

"His school only had one stabbing
What other baggage is he carrying?"

"Straight rights aside, 
has he learnt anything?"

The train jerks, throws
your body towards me
your head to my chest
My arm wraps
my feet spread
my knees bend.
My past, drip fed.

you kiss my neck to kiss my neck
my cheek’s blush, skin stretched.

I get the hard that hurts
The only hard you deserve.

My back your Japanese rock garden
Fingers tease webs from the caverns

Here’s to all the sparkles we hold.
To all the sweet patches we make.

Whenever there's a chance
We'll mix our blood. 
suck fingers after paper cuts.
Tenderness hits hard
when you have a violent past.

I see my face in the chicken shop mirror and smile.
Onion rings and Fries, everything takes a while

Black ink.

I liked being in your room. 

It was very messy but, the mess was a space filled with clothes that you've looked sexy in. A collage of buttons we undid, of zips we unzipped. 

"There's a lighter in the kitchen"
I look at your noticeboard,
a testament to lyrical intelligence
and growing up on Tetris, 

Friendships and show tickets- 
DOOM, Scroob, Badu, D'Angelo, Tempest. 

All your friends are smiling by themselves
They smile smiles parents love, 
smiles parents put on cards. 
I stare into their eyes for answers. 
If the blank ink for pupils could
hold another darkness. 

They all went the same way, you all met in the same place.

In the bottom corner there's a holiday pic of you and your sister.
She's since got taller, you've stopped getting thinner

I look at your smile and it resembles the others
so much I sit away from the board till you return.

I think about the dagger. I think about the waltz.

Delicate fingers delicately fold the rizla
with all the care a mother rocks her newborn.

The grinder a life raft in the ocean that’s your thigh.

You look so good now
You’re doing so good now. 

Yeah. You say yeah. 
Inhale and hold. 
Let go and exhale.

Ashes in the bed. 
We escape the crematorium
just to take the mates who aren't with us, 

with us.

I talk to you about the phone call,
how I tried to keep him on the line
I talk to you about missed calls,
how I said I’d call back after my shift.

I talk to you about the funeral,
how he had Sonic on his casket.
I talk about the picture they had of us when we were younger
How I looked into his eyes but only saw black ink.
Only saw a good kid.

It's not fair that all that weight was his. 
It's my fault for not being there for him.

Your hand touches mine, moving it from my face.
you hold my palm with the intimacy and tenderness

our bodies were always too scared to give
and you offer me

the next best thing after a Tyson left hook.  

It makes you lighter.  It's good


Jerking rumbles, emails, phone calls, direct messages, knocking doors (Fucking Bailiffs)

The stress of living with a heart nudging it's owner a self employed invoice.

All my most used words exposed as gluttonous; Bunch of Hlebs, flashy in space but when the moment comes, they break, losing the ball. 

My stronghold is cool. To every eloquent sentence you give me all I have in return is- cool-cool-cool.

It's abysmal, Gary.

And then there's this supposed Heavyweight Champ dick. For years, swaggering into rooms like Sonny Liston.

Then again, who can say they saw Ali coming until they were staring up in disbelief?