Wild one.

proper wood n out   doors
Can’t hate on them, at, all.                          
talking about the world you’re out of.
real south London gets more southern
do the stories get more manic
in a present more humdrum
“should’ve seen me back in the day mate
I was a wild one”

Did you go to all the Garage raves?
Where you early on the Grime wave?
You know where I was? on the Myspace
Spent hours customising my page.
Life back then
I love my ends
don’t know if the ends
                            know my name.
I don’t think I could hack
                                               of fame.

A sensitive soul that loved watching
fights in the green cage from red pitch.
I knew what I wanted to do
but didn’t know how to start
All these poems in my drafts
about local legends in the park.
Back when local meant global.
Before stars were in free-fall.

James jumped off a moving moped on a dare,
cap dipped to his nose in the year room
with Raphaella whispering into his ear
While lackeys imagine what she says to him
Sat close in the hope cool can osmosis.

Keep shtum if you were looking
for a place to land the whole time.
don’t disrespect the unbridled joy
found in running with any feeling
that made life faster only to now
chase the high with coke binges
on weekends boring the ears off old friends
who’ve somehow wound up back in the old ends
with remember whens, like yeah, mate, I remember then.
"fuckssake, what’s changed"
throwing the vodka down his throat to exclaim
"you used to be safe"

You should’ve seen him mate.

He stole my jacket just to see me again
the next day he apologised
eyes red as his cheeks and nose
an old body trapping a young ghost.

My wallet was in there too,
he said he didn’t touch it,
like I’d ever think otherwise.

He doesn’t know I still think so much of him
he insists-his treat- we go to a pub
He asks questions watching my lips move
like double dutch ropes, just waiting
for his opening to jump in.

After the amount of money he makes
and the amount of women he’s slept with
he leaks out in a sigh- right now’s alright,
but he just want’s to stop getting older.

I tell him about Rosehip oil and going vegan.
He laughs and says
he can make a call and
turn this into a night.